Human Training

I thought it was time to give a lesson to my canine readers about HUMAN TRAINING. It's not much fun to live in a house hold where the humans have not been trained. Oh sure, you get to do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, but.. you have to put up with the consequences and that can be bad. If you don't train them properly, you are probably missing out on a lot of good treats.

Let me define Human Training. I think it means that you can cause the humans to do what you want and when you want to for some worthy cause. Humans are merely animals. Studies have shown that they will respond to the basic behavior/reward system as well as other more advanced species.

First, make sure that you choose the right TIME to train them. If they are distracted by other things, like the yelling kids, or visitors, or their stupid computers, you'll never get them trained. Find a quiet time, in a quiet place to begin training them. A time when they seem to be interested in what YOU are doing.

The stare is worth mastering. It is used a lot in training humans. They have this thing called guilt that responds well in training to the stare.

There are many things you can train them to do. We will cover some of the more basic items needed for your own pleasure and survival. Things like, sit, stay, down, feed me, pet me, give me a snack, come, let me out, let me in.

The stare works in training humans to FEED ME.

See, it worked. Here Dad is responding to my stare command to toss me some of his food.

Probably the most important one is FEED ME. Although many humans have learned to do this on their own, sometimes they need help in remembering that it's time for you to eat. The most effective way to accomplish this is to find your bowl and either move it with your nose until it makes noise or sit next to it and STARE at the human that normally feeds you. It's important to NOT give up. Keep staring until they feed you. This make take some time. In some cases, you'll have to get their attention first. A couple short barks will get their attention and then start staring at them. Soon they will remember and you'll not have to do this as often.

Sometimes you have to roll over on your back to get a treat. It's worth it to train the human properly.

GIVE ME A SNACK is a great thing to train them for. Often all it takes is a smile and a short bark, but mostly it takes performing some stupid trick for them. So, if they ask YOU to sit, do so and quickly. Lick your chops and stare at them. If they refuse you a treat, nudge their hand and sit again. Don't get up until they give you one. Sometimes you'll have to do something like roll over on your back or sit up and beg (for you smaller dogs), but whatever it is, always demand that treat by refusing to move until you have it. Sometimes they won't ask you to do a trick. You'll have to do one without them asking. If you hear them say the word sit or down to a friend, SIT or lay DOWN immediately. The humans think that is cute and often will reward you with a treat. Doing this repeatedly will train the human to associate the word SIT or DOWN to giving you a treat.

LET ME OUT is an important trick to teach humans. There will be times when peeing on the carpet is your only choice, but hopefully it won't come to that. To train your human, go to the door and stare at it. A little bark will get their attention if they are reading the newspaper or have their head in a computer screen. Doing this repeatedly will allow the human to associate your staring at the door with opening the door for you. Once they open the door, go outside quickly and give the human a treat by making sure to poop or pee as soon as possible. Humans seem to really like to see us dogs poop or pee.

Rock the RV by standing on the stairs to train them to LET ME IN.

LET ME IN can be just as important. Once you are out, often the humans will just tie you up and go back in. So getting their attention is important. In our RV, I have a way that works every time. I jump up on the bottom stair and the RV rocks. Dad or Mom comes quickly and after a few false starts, they learned that I wanted to come in. If you don't have a rocking motorhome, a few scratches to the screen door will do the trick. A variation of this trick is the TAKE ME FOR A WALK. Once you have them opening the door, don't go in, but turn and look away. After a few times, the smart human will understand that you want to go for a walk. (It works for me.)

Here Petting was accomplished easily after some very mild crotch smelling.

Go right up and lick their hand to get attention.

PET ME is a trick that you can show your canine friends. When your humans are standing around talking together and neglecting you, just go up to one of them and lick their hands or nudge them with your nose. Most humans will learn that a few affectionate pets to the head is all it takes for you to calm down. Some aren't so smart. For those, put your nose in their crotch. If that doesn't work, jump up on them. Finally, for the very dumbest, just lift your leg and pretend to pee on their leg. That usually gets action, though not always a petting gesture.

Just turn an RUN to teach the human the COME command. They will follow you.

COME is a difficult one to teach a human because they usually want to go some different place than you do. If you are in the backyard or off-leash in a field, sit down and make sure you have their attention. Once they are looking turn around and run the opposite direction. Hide behind a bush. They will come. It works almost every time. Just in case it doesn't work, keep an eye on the human and if he turns to walk the other way, don't let him get out of your sight. I suggest running before he does. Some humans are just mean enough to leave you out for the night without supper for that trick.

Just pull on the leash to get the human to go where you want.

If you are on a leash, the best method is to stop and stare at them for a few seconds and then pull with your strong neck in the direction you want to go. They will pull back, but eventually you will win, at least for a while. You might get them mad enough that you'll be dangling from the end of your leash (for you small dogs) or tied to the bumper of the car (for us larger dogs). Eventually, for most of the humans (especially the female ones and young ones), you'll get to go in YOUR direction when ever you give a small tug on the leash.

Mom responded to my running on the trail and she did the COME command very obediently here.

There are other tricks that I'll try to go over in other blogs in the future, but these are the most important. Others yet to come include SIT, STAY, STAND, GET YOUR OWN NEWSPAPER, GET RID OF THE CAT, TURN OFF THE TV, GIVE ME TABLE SCRAPS and my favorite, MOVE OVER I'M COMING INTO YOUR BED.

Well, until next time.

Arf

Reggie