Tiny People

Little humans or tiny people are an interesting group. Dad calls them children but I prefer tiny people.

I bring this up because yesterday we visited one of them. Dad has a grand-daughter named Chloe. (Dad says she is my human niece.) I’ve never seen Dad and Mom so excited as when they see Chloe. She’s a small package that Dad and Mom carry around in their arms a lot. I’ve seen her walk (although only an approximation to walking) but she seems to like to be carried like a package. Dad says she is only 2 years old. Heck I’m a lot older than her!

Chloe is my human niece. She's "cute" (as humans get).

One of the advantages of traveling in the motorhome is that we can see humans all over the country as we drive near them. Chloe and her parents (my human brother, Damon is her father) live in Northern California and we are staying in a place Dad calls the Sacramento Delta so we can visit with them. There is a lot of water here and fun places to walk, but more about that some other time.

Tiny people pose interesting problems to us dogs. For some reason humans don’t trust us dogs around them. So, I get to stay in the car while Dad and Mom get to visit Chloe. Dad says I have to stay in the car because Damon’s apartment owners don’t like dogs to be in their apartments, but I think it’s because big humans are afraid that us dogs will hurt little humans. Oh, they come out to the car a lot to see me and walk me but still, I’m in the car for a long time.

I had to stay in the car while Mom and Dad visited Chloe. But she came to see me.

I like it when Chloe comes to see me. She’s a little afraid to touch me, but I’m friendly to her and lick her hands and face. She giggles when I do that. I must admit I like Chloe. If a human can be cute, she’s it. She even took me on a walk, holding my leash and petting me. Dad asked me to be gentle and slow, so I was. It was fun to have Dad and Chloe walk me together.

Chloe in her Apartment (without me!)

But, us dogs are confused about tiny people. It’s a love and hate relationship. Let me explain. (Us Golden Retrievers really don’t hate anything or anyone, but it is not always fun to be “loved” by a little people.)

We are often larger than they are and that’s good. It gives us a feeling of being “top dog” and somewhat superior. I know it doesn’t last long because they all seem to grow larger than us over time, but for a bit of time, it feels good. Also, the really little ones don’t talk, something we have in common, again making us feel equal, if not superior.

Chloe likes to be licked by me. She giggles.

Tiny people usually don’t scream commands at us and that’s good. Their little sizes make for little voices. HOWEVER, they do have a form of their voice that only us dogs can appreciate as being extremely painful when they use it. Their scream, while not directed at us, activates all the nerves in my skin and all at once. Dog whistles should be so good!

Tiny people move quickly and are quite difficult to relax around. They jump and run and fall on you. That’s not good. They haven’t mastered the trick of stepping over my tail, but usually step directly on it. Of course, as I jump up in agony, the big humans think I’m attacking the little human. Far from it, I’m just trying to get away from it. If I try to play with them in the same way, watch out.

Little humans haven’t figured out where my head is. They like to grab whatever part of my body is closest, which is often my tail, and then pull. If they try to touch my head it is often my eyes they go for. I realize they are not intending to poke out my eye, but it is a possibility. Give them a stick and cover your head with your paws! They seem to like my floppy ears because they are always lifting them up to see what’s inside. You are lucky if they don’t stick something in there!

Chloe has a bear friend named Teddy Ruxpin. I'm jealous!

Their little hands, as small and “cute” as they are, are dangerous gripping weapons. They can pull out a whole section of hair before you know it. Of course as we yelp out in pain, the big humans think we are attacking their little human and we get scolded. Somehow the big humans think it is cute that their little human is holding a handful of golden colored hair and babbling something like “good doggie”.

Alana is another tiny person that I know. She's one of my human cousins in San Diego.

Please don’t think I don’t like little people. I do. I just want a chance to defend myself when I’m with them. I’m not a Barbie doll (er..Ken doll) that can be picked up, poked at and stepped on. I do have my dog pride!

I’ve also heard that life changes when a little human suddenly appears out of no where. For a long time, you are the center of all human attention in your house, getting all the table scraps, having long walks, playing ball with Dad, laying down at Moms feet while she watches TV, sharing a great moment with them while they are watching “the Dog Whisperer”, and so much more. But as soon as one of those small people appear, it’s into the back yard with you, short walks, no TV, forbidden rooms, and quick pets. Luckily, I’ve not had that experience. Dad says that being a Grandfather is great because all the “stuff” you have to do to care for a little person goes to his son and his wife and Dad gets to have time with Chloe when she is fresh, and on her best behavior. He said it was called something like “sweet revenge”. I don’t understand, but Dad knows best.

I meet some nice tiny people in RV Parks too. This one is named Ginny and I like her.

Chloe is here to stay. I’m sure I’ll have time to play with her on my own terms, but I will have to wait until she gets bigger. We will visit a lot more and I’ll be glad to see her. I’m hoping she will come visit me in our motorhome and take a trip with me. I’d love to show her the cows and she can hear me protect Mom and Dad (and her) from them.

Arf,

Reggie.