Reggie for President

I'm writing my views on creating a better (doggie) world for everyone.

I’m not unaware of what happens in the RV when Mom is listening to CNN on the great noisy box she calls the TV, or when Mom and Dad discuss about what bad things are happening in our country. Mom and Dad say that humans are losing their jobs and can’t afford to feed their dogs, humans are at war and dogs are losing their best human friends, humans can’t drive to work or take their dogs to the dog park because the price of fuel is rising so fast, many humans are losing their homes and the dog houses with them and worst of all, dog food is costing much more today, threatening our very existence.

Tell me I don't look the part!

Humans have one Great Dominant Male that enforces the rules in this country and they call him the President. (Mom said they tried to have a Great Dominant Female, but I guess that was too much change for humans to take all at once.) I have seen the humans that want to be President today and I’ve decided that it’s time to have a dog in charge. There are almost 80 Million dogs like me in this country. It’s time they are represented in making and keeping the rules in this country. Therefore, I am announcing that I would like to be the Great Dominant Male of this country and I’m running on the Canine ticket.

To be President you have to lick a few paws, and other parts too!

I have had plenty of experience in being the dominant male in our RV and it’s surroundings. It’s not too difficult to do. You just have to act like you are in-charge, look regal and bark loud and strong a few times a day. You also have to lick a lot of human hands and a few rear-ends. Dad told me that’s what those who want to be the Great Dominant Male do. I can do that!

Exercise is important when you become the Great Dominant Male. I will stay fit!

It’s true that I’m past middle age, and have started to gray a bit, but humans have been President that are way past middle age and some have been known to sleep on the job. I can do that well! Some say a dog is not smart enough to be President. Dog poop! Put me up against the current human President any day and I’ll look as smart or better! Does he write a blog? Where? I haven’t found it. Besides, I exercise a lot each day, I’m in good health, eat well, and poop regularly. What more would you want from a President.

It is time for a new way of looking at dogs in this country. Dogs need not be second-class citizens. Actually they aren’t citizens at all, but I aim to change that. Immediately upon my selection as the Great Dominant Male or President as humans call him, I intend to grant this country’s citizenship to every dog, with all the rights and privileges. In addition, I will personally see to it that every dog has a bone in his bowl daily, at the very least. No dog should ever go hungry while I’m President.

No more leashes! Bring back dignity to being a dog!

Further, I will decree that all leashes and collars are illegal. A leash is just a way for humans to degrade us dogs and we will have it no more. Gain our trust to stay with you by treating us with dignity and give us good food each day. You won’t need a leash if you do that. After all, we aren’t called Man’s Best Friend for nothing!

I'm sure to get the cow vote. That should beef my campaign up a bit!

If you select me as your President, I will see to it that there is no more war waged by this country. How many dogs have caused wars and were responsible for the deaths of millions of humans and other animals? NONE I say. How many dogs have wasted valuable resources in this country? NONE I say. How many dogs have caused humans to lose their jobs? NONE! How many dogs have raised the price of fuel? NONE. How many dogs have refused to support Universal health care for puppies and human children? NONE! Select me as your President and I’ll make sure that all the bad things in this country are made good. I’ll chase down the selfish rule makers and run them out of town. If they don’t make good decisions for the common dog and human, I’ll lift my leg on each one until they are hounded to do the right thing! (That’s an appeal for the Hound dog support.)

I'm trying to convince this guy that I'd make the best Great Dominant Male for his country.

I know that some will accuse me of trying to attract just the “red” or “golden” vote. But I promise to appeal to dogs and humans of all colors and sizes by my sense of justice of what is right and wrong. And I won’t be prejudiced against humans. If something is good enough for me, or other dogs, it’s good enough for humans too! To show my sense of fairness, I will also grant citizenship to felines. There are a lot of cats in this country and I intend to improve their lives too. Kibbles for all cats. With the dog and cat vote, I can’t miss!

Look me in the eye and tell me I wouldn't be the best President this country has ever known!

If I am selected as your President, I’ll make sure that every dog, puppy or grown-up, can see a Vet if they need one, and for no payment but a lick on the face! Why should only the rich humans have healthy dogs? It’s shameful that the amount of riches you bury decides whether you can live or die. All dogs will be covered by the Universal Vet Care that I will create once I become the President.

Dog Parks will be all over the country. Dogs will join together in solidarity!

Dog Parks will be required in every city in this country. They will have plenty of clean water to drink, snacks, covered places where we can get out of the rain, plenty of grass, a lake to play in and clean places to poop! Humans will be required to take their dogs to a dog park at least three times per week. Even dogs in dog orphanages will have to be taken to the dog parks. Oh, and I’ll stop the mis-treatment of dogs and cats and the killing of dogs and cats in those “shelters” too. I’ll make tax-incentives (Dad told me that phrase) to encourage humans to adopt the unwanted dogs and cats.

Just let one of those greedy humans start a dog fighting contest and they’ll understand the age old fear of wolves. With me, those guys rank below the organisms that grow beneath my dog poop.

Every dog that is owned by an RVer will have a separate bed and a clean place to sit outside the RV. No more chained stakes, no more fences, no more dirty poopy places to lie down. RV Parks will be required to allow dogs of all sizes.

National and State Parks will drop their silly rules that dogs can’t run on trails. Stores will allow dogs to accompany their humans, especially in the big stores humans call Malls, and of course, as I said before, all leash laws will be struck down for good.

Me and Casey in our official Canine ticket portrait. She's as qualified as any other female running!

It’s not hard to see what a great place this country could be if I became President. Of course, I’d need an assistant. Humans call this the Vice-President. I will choose Casey (my beagle friend) to be my Vice-President. She’s a cute gal and can howl with the best of them. I notice that one of the humans that want to be President has selected a female as their Vice President also. I’m sure that Casey is just as qualified as she is (and Casey doesn’t have a large family to distract her and for her to take care of. Without puppies, she can spend all her time supporting me.)

I stand for justice for all dogs, humans and even cats. Vote for me, please!

If I am selected as the Great Dominant Male of this country, I’ll move Mom and Dad and their RV into the great White House and build a magnificent Dog House for me. Dogs from all over the county can come and lift their leg in my yard to see what determination can do for any dog. I want to inspire others to be like me so the future happiness of dogs is assured.

When I'm at the top, you'll get more than dog poop from your President.

So, if you want to have happiness, peace, health, and freedom, I ask you to select me as your Great Dominant Male for this great country. I won’t let you down.

ARF, (meow)

Reggie for President

My first endorsement. Mom is behind me the whole way!


Late breaking news: Megan will be my campaign manager. (She's my sister Genevieve's dog.)